Puzzles

If you follow this link [ http://shamptons.blogspot.com/2009/05/another-part-of-puzze.html ]to an earlier ost on shamptons you can see the farce that is reality v notions.

Today was the brats first day at after school care and given my previous conversations with the person in charge there - I was quite nervous. Yelling at hte kids to find Hannah's 'talking tags' - as I call the auslan pics she has attached to her waist on a keychain to help with communication at preschool. I thought it might allay the fears of hte after school care workers. It wasn't to be found anywhere - so I took them off to preschool all dressed up in their animal safari glory without it.

They looked gorgeous in their costumes. We passed lots of kids in animal outfits on their way tot he school and the opther preschoolers when we got there were very excited. Hannah was overwhelmed. Poor love - it broke my heart. Eventually I went and hid just outside the door as I know that sometimes hanging around feeling terrified for her just gives her an opportunity to avoid going along with the class. Anyways it worked although she was still abit upset she did go and line up with the others and hold Kit's hand. I was worried - this would just exhaust ehr and then she had her first after school care experience - and I really wanted her to make a good impression. (I know that sounds silly - but given everything we have been through this year in terms of getting people to see past her disability perhaps it isn't as crazy as it sounds now as I type it!). I felt sick. I didn't go to work. I worried all day. I cleaned up a bit and did a grocery shop, found her 'talking tag' and laminated some new pics just in case they might be useful next week and as soon as I could acceptably go there - I went to pick them up.

Well - they were on the other side of the school. Kit was sitting with an adult and a few other kids watching a lot of boys play football - he was taking it all in as he does. Cautiously assessing the situation and seeing who he could make friends with. Hannah was in the hall - dancing. The carer was very happy with how she'd gone and as I hoped a little girl (Olivia) had taken her under her wing - and had asked the carer if she could look after Hannah each week while she was there. She had a ball. I asked about the talking tag - they'd been lent the preschool teacher's copy - but no - no need for that I was told. Clearly Han had managed to take her queue from the other kids very successfully. I was very proud of her. I know she is looking forward to going again next week.

Progress

Today Hannah had an individual session with her special ed teacher - it is great to see how much she has progressed - and how she is starting to get some of the numeracy and literacy concepts we have been working on. Her SpEd teacher is great - very comitted - we are lucky to have her. Anyways - Han was matching die spots with the written numeral up to 8 quite well. She 'read' simple sentences such as My name is Hannah. I am a girl. I am 4 years old. She also dis some counting and reading ina great little resource that I plan on googling later on - How Many? 2 shoes, 3 pigs etc - it uses velcro for her to select the correct ones to attach to the different pages. She did a fantastic version of This old Man - I still recall one fohte teachers at Uni commenting on how teaching rhyming to our kids is really hard - well if there is any chance they'll get it - I can see that this song using simple pictures and the corresponding numerals will surely do it! They also read Kit and I a wonderful story book - Mouse Mess - which clearly Hannah loves so I will have to see if I can buy it locally. She attends morning EI playgroup which Kit and I don't stay for - when we were driving home she told me that she had read a book and when I asked which one she said 'Mou Mea' which I was totally at a loss to interpret - but then this afternoon the penny dropped - Mouse Mess - yep definitely one for the library if I can get it. Some great work - but also some naughty behaviour - as has been seen at preschool this past couple of weeks - falling to the ground and refusing to move - hope that one doens't last.

Decided - I think!

We have let the old school of choice know our decision. It is still our preferred option. They are very blunt about how inclusion will look for Hannah. The principal mentioned her concerns and some of the other negatives too. We talked about strategies to help Hannah in that setting. Then we went away and drew up a comparative table of pros and cons. 1 school had 7 pros the other 9. Both had 5 'cons' - one of which was 'recorders' which are taught at both schools. So not that much between them really - 2 good schools.

Negatives and positives
2 classes in open plan setting - 58 kids, 2 teachers
Hannah's speech is very unclear, she is less 'mature' than her peers in that she parallel plays (unless she is at home). We also discussed her reaching the toilet seat - will need a step in the kindy toilet. They were pleased to hear that her stability when walking is getting better all the time as there are steps down to the playground. Eating isn't a problem as we have sorted out containers that she can open for herself. There are other kids with 'special' needs in the class (including language delay and some social/agro issues) - this was presented as a negative in that this would further reduce the teachers' time available for individually helping Hannah - yet for us it was also a positive - teachers might be able to share strategies with these kids that also work with Han and she might not stand out so much as she could if she was the 'only one' the 'sore thumb' in the class with additional needs. The other positives came from the organisation's supporting officer who seemed very professional and supportive (of the principal and inclusion). Forseeable situations were stated and strategies to deal with them were discussed - like keeping Han on task in a whole class activity - eg when the teacher is reading from a book or presenting to the whole class in a group on the floor - how to stop Han losing interest and wandering off around the room. Her speech is very unclear - how to best support her communication? I will be asking her EI and her private ST for recomendations on this but basically some sort of visuals - maybe pecs or something? As well as that I will be able to help out one morning a week as part of the parent volunteer program - something I'd like to be able to do regardless of Hannah's additional needs. Hannah will also automatically have an IEP drawn up (this is not automatic int he government system for kids with 'mild intellectual disabilities' although I am sure I could request one and I definitely would! It also means that each 6 months there will be a meeting to discuss how the goals set are going - I hope that process works for us and not against us - I have heard where it can be used to 'move a student on' if the school feels it isn't working - yet I also know that that isn't the philosphy behind them and I can't deal with the school always expecting the negative. We need to build a relationship together for the sake of the twins. I did ask for a communication book - as I don't want ot have to ask Kit what hannah did at school that day (The Dan Drinker Diaries really showed me how useful one could be) - and the principal was happy for that - so long as it doesn't prove burdensone for the teachers - she even suggested considering email - which would suit me (I use it myslef as a teacher too and prefer it). They also have a social skills program that explicitly teaches the kids these skills - each week.

Then there are the other considerations which are not essential but are nice nevertheless - it follows the religious beliefs and ethos that I support. The twins will have an education where religion isn't 'compartmentalised' as such but pervades through things easily. It is very close to their grandparents house - and they will be able to continue to be involved in the daily life of the brats. My MIL is very active in that parish and may even help out at the school too if she still has that inability to sit still that she has had ever since I have got to know her! She is a former primary school teacher and was a principal before she retired.

Added in as a bit of insurance is my own return to tertiary study - in special education. I think we are doing everything we can to make this work - but still like everything until we actually get there and see the dynamics of the group - there is no guarantee. I hope that there is some little group of girls - or just one girl - who will form a special attachment to Hannah - that would be magic.

We took Han's special ed teacher from EI with us - it was good to see the princiapl so open to her suggestions. It was good for us to have a 'supporter' there with us and a more neutral participant - her impression was that the principal was being very realistic in her expectations. She too saw the number of kids as a difficulty as Hannah may well end up 'lost' in the crowd.

The letter outlining their terms of acceptance hasn't arrived yet though - so who knows - I may change my mind again before the year is out! And so provided I don't do that just yet - it is now time to start looking at 'checklists' in preparing Hannah for school - mmmm - what to consider first?

Pushy

I have confessed on Shamptons to being a 'pushy' mum - no point denying it once I enrolled in a Masters of Special Education program specifically to do an early intervention unit! Anyhow - I completed a third of the course - and really enjoyed it too but just couldn't cope - emotionally and mentally with fitting the demands of study into an already packed schedule and the financial costs of sacrificing 2 weeks pay a year when we were finding money pretty tight - as well as the fees for the actual course - although to be fair that is heavily gov't subsidised - it still cost us money that we didn't really have. Given our leanings regarding schools for the brats next year I am hoping to stay part time for a year or two - and resuming some of that study. I rang up today - enrolment is in Sept. I am going to change to the Diploma programme which I can later change back to masters if I want - and so it means that next year I will be able to study a semester on Literacy and another on Numeracy - PERFECT! Just what I want to do. I will get credit for the other subject as I have already completed it as part of the masters course I was in. Looking forward to it! Bring in on!

Good day

Well I have just come back from a meeting with the school counsellor - I walked out feeling very positive even though we still probably won't get any additional funding for Han - she is going to try again as a 'special case' so fingers crossed. Regardless I left feeling good - something that rarely happens at the old 'school of choice'. I observed the kiddies playing together. Chatted with a mum I know who's son (with DS) will probably be starting there in a year or two. The teacher that will have Han was telling her about the lovely little girl with red hair that would be starting next year. Yep - that sounds like they are looking forward to having Hannah there! Fancy that... well no - that only surprises me cos the old 'school of choice' speaks like a lawyer every time - and clearly doesn't give the message that they would be LUCKY to have my daughter there - which seriously - they would be. She also recommended my friend start her little boy when he is 5 - so if he needed to repeat it could happen early. They are just so matter of fact about kids with disability. Very accepting. I watched a little girl with disability being greeted by another little boy when she arrived at school. It's small. They were all playing so wonderfully in the playground before the bell rang to go inside. The school counseller used to teach a class for children with mild intellectual disabilities which she raved about. Today I am really feeling good about entrusting my unique little girl to their loving care. A good day.

Checked out

Well the principal visted the LDC centre today. WHo knows what she made of it but the carers there tell me that Han was a 'model child' - I hope so. I have had that sick in the stomach feeling all day.

The ST's speech assessment came today - and based on it htere is some funding for Han - her receptive language has mild-moderate delay but it is her expressive that causes the most concern - and hence word structure too - it is hard to demonstrate a good understanding of tense when you still leave off end sounds etc.

Tomorrow I will go to see the school counsellor at the other school - I'd like to understand a bit better how they would be able to meet Han's individual needs - eg using visual aids in class, facilitating some social skills and peer interactions etc, and what the speech funding might actually mean in practical terms. At the bare minimum I am hoping that whichever school we end up at - they will make good use of a communication book for us - especially as Han has speech delay and I don't want to have to grill Kit about what his sister did at school that day. It will also help me work on similar things as they are doing at school. I am sure that I'll feel tense about tomorrow's meeting beforehand but this school is so pragmatic and welcoming of Han that I also feel positive about the meeting. DH reminded me just before of how when we went tothe open day and the principal didn't know us - and I asked about speical needs - she really shifted focus on what she was saying tothe whole group and ade it clear that they had special needs kids there 'but you wouldn't notice' and then talked about how they are accepted and assisted in the school. She didn't have to do that - it wasn't in the marketing spiel she was delivering - but she obviously has a genuine and inclusive attitude - now if only they didn't teach 'we're in the army now' to the kids on the recorder!!

Shall we dance the Fandango?

Got the call from the principal. She was obviously aware that the conversation with DH didn't go very well. Anyhow - I think that the aim of today's call was to try and encourage a more positive ambience for the scheduled meeting. Her focus seems to be on 'what can the school do' to meet Han's individual need, and some of the 'cons' like class size and teacher time, other kid's competing demands etc. Anyway - I still wish she'd request the conversation AFTER having said that Han could enrol in the school - cos that will impact on what we say - it is hard to view things as 'we are on the same team - let's come up with a plan' when half the team is jealously guarding the right to walk away from us and our beautiful Hannah. Still I really feel that here is our best chance of a school that matches our values, that is able to offer something of value to BOTH our kids. So fingers crossed.

Soon we will be attending a fundraiser there - let's hope it goes well and DH and the principal don't come to blows!

Running Scared

So I decided that it might be wise to see if Han's EI special education teacher could attend the interview witht he 'school of choice'. I rang and left a message to let the principal know - I don't want to ambush her but before we started at preschool we had a meeting with the AP, the school counsellor, the teacher, us and Han's EI Spec ed teacher - given that she is currently teaching Han in a transition to school program it seemed sensible.

I got a call from the school this afternoon - the principal will ring me tomorrow. I presume it is about that. Anyway I don't know whether it is giving her cause for concern or whether I should be nervous - I don't want to get her offside before the meeting has even occurred - I still hold some hope it might actually have a positive outcome. Fingers crossed.

Meanwhile Han's ST gave her a standardised test today - hasn't sent the results through yet but has said that her score is most likely going to be less than 70 which will bring with it for dept schools some funding.

Bumpy Road

Well DH rang the 'school of choice' yesterday - we are anxious to hear how the enrolment process is going. After speaking with the principal he wasn't especially reassured - we have arranged a meeting with her and the CEO support person - to discuss 'how to go forward' and what is in Han's 'best interests' - so any ideas - welcome! DH is getting pretty antsy - as he says - we rarely have a conversation where we come away feeling positive about things - so why are we persevering?

I don't know. Anyways I was feeling upset and had a bit of a cry and a rail against the unfairness of it all (funny how I just want to go and grab hannah and cuddle her to me forever away from prying judgemental eyes when that happens!) and then I picked myself up and went to collect the twins from LDC. There I am told that the principal is coming to look at Hannah next week - WTF?? So I must admit I gave it both barrels for a bit - I feel like I have been handing over Han for them to 'assess' like a bug under the microscope - I only do this in her best interests cos I understand she has additional needs and that she is an individual so I am glad they are looking at her specific issues and not just saying - Oh she has DS - they are 'dear little people'- but I thought that Han could make them see things more positively - that by observing her they might see what we see - Hannah's amazing resilience, her determination, her potential - and the reason why we want her in a mainstream class. I am not sure that is what is happening though - it feels as if she is a bug under the microscope and the face peering at her is scrunched up in distaste, fear and apprehension. I hate that that is what I have done to Hannah - that I have put her in that situation. She deserves so much more.

So where are we now on the bumpy road to school ... just bumping along through the long, stormy night I feel, wondering if we'll ever get there.

I did start to feel a bit better after the LDC staff told me that the principal is also coming on another day to look at some other kids - perhaps I need to be less paranoid, but then what about all the families that have already got their letter of acceptance - we haven't - so it isn't really a matter of our choice - it still lies with them. If they said 'yes' the brats are accepted for enrolment and then outlined how they saw their program catering for Hannah's special needs - then DH and I could consider the 'way forward' and 'Hannah's best interests' but as it stands - that still rests with the 'school of choice' no matter what they say.