Pushy

I have confessed on Shamptons to being a 'pushy' mum - no point denying it once I enrolled in a Masters of Special Education program specifically to do an early intervention unit! Anyhow - I completed a third of the course - and really enjoyed it too but just couldn't cope - emotionally and mentally with fitting the demands of study into an already packed schedule and the financial costs of sacrificing 2 weeks pay a year when we were finding money pretty tight - as well as the fees for the actual course - although to be fair that is heavily gov't subsidised - it still cost us money that we didn't really have. Given our leanings regarding schools for the brats next year I am hoping to stay part time for a year or two - and resuming some of that study. I rang up today - enrolment is in Sept. I am going to change to the Diploma programme which I can later change back to masters if I want - and so it means that next year I will be able to study a semester on Literacy and another on Numeracy - PERFECT! Just what I want to do. I will get credit for the other subject as I have already completed it as part of the masters course I was in. Looking forward to it! Bring in on!

Good day

Well I have just come back from a meeting with the school counsellor - I walked out feeling very positive even though we still probably won't get any additional funding for Han - she is going to try again as a 'special case' so fingers crossed. Regardless I left feeling good - something that rarely happens at the old 'school of choice'. I observed the kiddies playing together. Chatted with a mum I know who's son (with DS) will probably be starting there in a year or two. The teacher that will have Han was telling her about the lovely little girl with red hair that would be starting next year. Yep - that sounds like they are looking forward to having Hannah there! Fancy that... well no - that only surprises me cos the old 'school of choice' speaks like a lawyer every time - and clearly doesn't give the message that they would be LUCKY to have my daughter there - which seriously - they would be. She also recommended my friend start her little boy when he is 5 - so if he needed to repeat it could happen early. They are just so matter of fact about kids with disability. Very accepting. I watched a little girl with disability being greeted by another little boy when she arrived at school. It's small. They were all playing so wonderfully in the playground before the bell rang to go inside. The school counseller used to teach a class for children with mild intellectual disabilities which she raved about. Today I am really feeling good about entrusting my unique little girl to their loving care. A good day.

Checked out

Well the principal visted the LDC centre today. WHo knows what she made of it but the carers there tell me that Han was a 'model child' - I hope so. I have had that sick in the stomach feeling all day.

The ST's speech assessment came today - and based on it htere is some funding for Han - her receptive language has mild-moderate delay but it is her expressive that causes the most concern - and hence word structure too - it is hard to demonstrate a good understanding of tense when you still leave off end sounds etc.

Tomorrow I will go to see the school counsellor at the other school - I'd like to understand a bit better how they would be able to meet Han's individual needs - eg using visual aids in class, facilitating some social skills and peer interactions etc, and what the speech funding might actually mean in practical terms. At the bare minimum I am hoping that whichever school we end up at - they will make good use of a communication book for us - especially as Han has speech delay and I don't want to have to grill Kit about what his sister did at school that day. It will also help me work on similar things as they are doing at school. I am sure that I'll feel tense about tomorrow's meeting beforehand but this school is so pragmatic and welcoming of Han that I also feel positive about the meeting. DH reminded me just before of how when we went tothe open day and the principal didn't know us - and I asked about speical needs - she really shifted focus on what she was saying tothe whole group and ade it clear that they had special needs kids there 'but you wouldn't notice' and then talked about how they are accepted and assisted in the school. She didn't have to do that - it wasn't in the marketing spiel she was delivering - but she obviously has a genuine and inclusive attitude - now if only they didn't teach 'we're in the army now' to the kids on the recorder!!

Shall we dance the Fandango?

Got the call from the principal. She was obviously aware that the conversation with DH didn't go very well. Anyhow - I think that the aim of today's call was to try and encourage a more positive ambience for the scheduled meeting. Her focus seems to be on 'what can the school do' to meet Han's individual need, and some of the 'cons' like class size and teacher time, other kid's competing demands etc. Anyway - I still wish she'd request the conversation AFTER having said that Han could enrol in the school - cos that will impact on what we say - it is hard to view things as 'we are on the same team - let's come up with a plan' when half the team is jealously guarding the right to walk away from us and our beautiful Hannah. Still I really feel that here is our best chance of a school that matches our values, that is able to offer something of value to BOTH our kids. So fingers crossed.

Soon we will be attending a fundraiser there - let's hope it goes well and DH and the principal don't come to blows!

Running Scared

So I decided that it might be wise to see if Han's EI special education teacher could attend the interview witht he 'school of choice'. I rang and left a message to let the principal know - I don't want to ambush her but before we started at preschool we had a meeting with the AP, the school counsellor, the teacher, us and Han's EI Spec ed teacher - given that she is currently teaching Han in a transition to school program it seemed sensible.

I got a call from the school this afternoon - the principal will ring me tomorrow. I presume it is about that. Anyway I don't know whether it is giving her cause for concern or whether I should be nervous - I don't want to get her offside before the meeting has even occurred - I still hold some hope it might actually have a positive outcome. Fingers crossed.

Meanwhile Han's ST gave her a standardised test today - hasn't sent the results through yet but has said that her score is most likely going to be less than 70 which will bring with it for dept schools some funding.

Bumpy Road

Well DH rang the 'school of choice' yesterday - we are anxious to hear how the enrolment process is going. After speaking with the principal he wasn't especially reassured - we have arranged a meeting with her and the CEO support person - to discuss 'how to go forward' and what is in Han's 'best interests' - so any ideas - welcome! DH is getting pretty antsy - as he says - we rarely have a conversation where we come away feeling positive about things - so why are we persevering?

I don't know. Anyways I was feeling upset and had a bit of a cry and a rail against the unfairness of it all (funny how I just want to go and grab hannah and cuddle her to me forever away from prying judgemental eyes when that happens!) and then I picked myself up and went to collect the twins from LDC. There I am told that the principal is coming to look at Hannah next week - WTF?? So I must admit I gave it both barrels for a bit - I feel like I have been handing over Han for them to 'assess' like a bug under the microscope - I only do this in her best interests cos I understand she has additional needs and that she is an individual so I am glad they are looking at her specific issues and not just saying - Oh she has DS - they are 'dear little people'- but I thought that Han could make them see things more positively - that by observing her they might see what we see - Hannah's amazing resilience, her determination, her potential - and the reason why we want her in a mainstream class. I am not sure that is what is happening though - it feels as if she is a bug under the microscope and the face peering at her is scrunched up in distaste, fear and apprehension. I hate that that is what I have done to Hannah - that I have put her in that situation. She deserves so much more.

So where are we now on the bumpy road to school ... just bumping along through the long, stormy night I feel, wondering if we'll ever get there.

I did start to feel a bit better after the LDC staff told me that the principal is also coming on another day to look at some other kids - perhaps I need to be less paranoid, but then what about all the families that have already got their letter of acceptance - we haven't - so it isn't really a matter of our choice - it still lies with them. If they said 'yes' the brats are accepted for enrolment and then outlined how they saw their program catering for Hannah's special needs - then DH and I could consider the 'way forward' and 'Hannah's best interests' but as it stands - that still rests with the 'school of choice' no matter what they say.

Our Science Experiment

Han's IQ assessment finally arrived. It didn't tell us anything new - in fact the report of her actual assessment performance was less detailed than the verbal summary the spychologist gave us initally - because the typed one didn't include feedback on the individual subtests within the Wiipsi. The 'scool of choice' rang - just to ask for a release of information form. So one step closer but still waiting...
In the meantime there was a cancellation at the sleep clinic so I took Han in for a sleep study - it is good to have another - 'before she goes to school' medical appointment crossed off the 'todo' list. She was a very good girl - patient with all the wires and cooperative with the staff. There was one registrar who sort of raced into our room and immediately started looking for her simeon crease and brushfield spots - not that all kids with DS have them (and Han doens't have a definite SImeon crease)! Anyways she made a comment that I was 'a knowledgeable Mum' when I showed Hannah's hand creases to her - she was looking at her own hand and amazed that Han's handcreases looked the same as her own - I wanted to say a lot of things to her about her doctoring and patient skills - but I bit my tongue - just said that yep - regular people can also have a simeon crease. We haven't got the results yet.